「幸福ってなんだろう」
と言うテーマについて話し合う場面が，今日見た映画の一節でありました．
「お金があることが幸せ？」
「錯覚でも幸せと思えれば，それが幸せ？」
「違う，錯覚はよくないよ．」
「幸せってなんだろう．」
「それを知るために，勉強するんじゃない？」
「どうしようも無かった時，先生に声をかけてもらって，幸せだった・・」
「またしあわせの話か」と思う人がいるかも知れません．
でも，どうやって生きてくのがしあわせなことなのか考えるのは，
とっても自然なことです．
だってしあわせになるために生きてるんだから．ねぇ．
人によってしあわせのかたちは違うものだろうし，
自分にとってのそれがどういうものなのかもうまく表現はできません．
でも少なくとも，今日映画を見終わって，
先生の話を聞いたその帰り道は，しあわせな気分でした．
ああ，俺ここに来てほんとよかったな，って思った．
それは大げさでもなんでもなくて．
人を知るということは，とっても大きなしあわせです．
自分が今の自分のような考えを持った時から，
可能な限り色んな人と関わりを持って，その人を知ろうとしてきました．
そのつもりでした．
でも，まだまだ全然足りないよね．
世の中で俺が知っている人と言うのはあまりにも少ない．
寮のベランダから駅の方を見ると，灯りがたくさん見えます．
その1つ1つに人がいるはずなんだけど，
そのいくつも俺は知りません．
悲しくなるくらい知らないもの．
そもそも人を知ると言ったって，
自分以外の人のことなんてろくに分かりません．
自分自身じゃないんだから，
どうしたって今は人の全てを知ることは出来ないと思う．
でも，いや，だからかなぁ，
少しでも人のことを「知った」気になるととっても楽しい．
人の「考えてることが何かを知った」気になるととっても楽しいです．
だってほら，人と全く同じことを考えるなんて，無いじゃない．
だから人を知るってことは，
自分の中の世界がその分広がるってことだと思う．
せっかく生きてるんだから，
大きな世界で大きな可能性を持って生きたい．
教えることって，考えてることを共有することだと思います．
教育って「おしえはぐくむ」って書くけど，
子どもに親や先生が考えてることを教えて，成長を促すことでしょうか．
「知りたい」と思う人がいて「教えたい」と思う人がいる状況こそが，
教育の本来のあり方なんだろうなぁと思います．
今日，映画を見てすごくそう思いました．
「教えてあげる」じゃなくて，
「自分が知ってることを知って，しあわせになって欲しい」
そう思う人が教えるのって，なんとすばらしい．
こういう職業がいい，という希望はそれほど強く持っていません．
ただほんとに「多くの人と会える」仕事がしたい，って昔から思います．
就職する時，それだけは絶対に譲れない．
今日みたいな日には，大学に来てよかったってほんとに思う．
ううん，来なきゃよかったなんて思った日は一日たりとも無いんだけれど．
一期一会と言う，茶道からきた言葉があります．
「その人に会えるのは一生に一度きりだと思い，全身全霊で誠意を尽くせ」
という意味だと思います．
いつも一生に一度しか会えない，と思ってるわけではないけど，
環境が変われば会えなくなる人がいるのも事実．
いや，多くの人と会うためには，環境を変えることは必要な条件だと思う．
だとすると，その時々で，
全力で人を知ろうとする努力をしないわけがない．自分にとって．
人に会うことは全て，人を知るチャンスだと思う．
だからこそ，自分が知りたいと思った人のことは知ろうと努力する．
そうか，東京に行きたいと思うのは「人が多いから」だ．
奈良よりも大阪の方が大きい，大阪よりも東京の方が大きい．
ただ，それだけだと思う．
街が大きくたって，自分が人に多く会えるかどうかはわからない．
でもね，人が多くいて，多くの人の流れがある場所の方が，
人に会うチャンスがあると思う．
だから大きな街に住みたい．
別に日本の都市じゃなくて，ニューヨークとか北京とかでも，
どこでもいいの．大きければ．
環境は常に変えていきたい．
そしてその環境で得られるものを得られるだけ得たい．
そうやって生きていけたら，きっと大きな世界が自分の中に広がると思う．
ああ，楽しい．
少しずつ自分が考えてる事がまとまってきた．
そのうち，それを体系的にまとめたい．
自分自身のことだから，自分で全て知って，把握しておきたい．
まんとるの壷はそのための資料です．
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