懺悔

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懺悔とは。
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%87%BA%E6%82%94

よくないと思いつつしてしまった(ている)よろしくない行いについて
告白して、勝手に許された気持ちになること。
ほんと勝手だな・・・勝手な話だわ。

よくないと思ってんならやらなきゃいいじゃん。かっこ悪い。
と、正常な状態なら思うのだろうか。
でもそうはいかない時がある。あるの!

最近、矛盾を感じながら生きていることがとても多い。
理性では「こうした方がいい」と思っているのに
「だってしょうがないじゃん!」と言い訳している自分がいる。
なんでこんなことになってるんだろう。
よくないことは連鎖していく、ただそれだけなのか?
ある意味去年の春より、よっぽどつまづいている気がする。


なんて暗い日記だ!!
寝たら大体のことはリセットされるはず。
それが出来なくなったらいよいよやばい。うわぁ。
起きてても迷うだけだな・・・寝よ。。

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コメント(235)

そんなことよりコミケ行って遊ぼうぜwwwwwwww

「弁証法」不足ですね、分かります。

お久しぶりです。

うまくいえないんですけど
人に話そうって決意したということが
話した後に許されるかどうかということよりも
大事なんじゃないかって気がするんです。

悪いことしたとき結果が何も変わらなくても
謝ろうって気になっている人と
誰にもわからないからいいや、って思う人では
たぶん人に与える感じが違う。

それに苦しいときは人に話すと楽になるし
楽しいときはおしゃべりしているともっと楽しくなる。

まんとるさんが伝えようとなさったこととは
たぶん違うとは思うんですけど
まんとるさんの日記を読んでいて
人に話すのって素敵だな、と感じました。

>こころちゃん
今年も参戦乙wwww
俺は多分1,2日目に行きます。

>よんとお
いつだって一つ上の次元から物を見られる訳ではないと思うんだけどな。
それが出来るのは「余裕」があるから、だろう。
じゃあ何で余裕無いの?と言う話になって「無いもんは無いわ!」とか言うと
結局また「弁証法が足りない」と言うことになって、エンドレスになるのでやめよう。

>夜猫子
お久しぶり。元気?
人に話すことは素敵だ、と言うのは全面的に賛成なのです。
でも話したらそれでいいんかい、と言うとそうでは無いだろうと。
人は自分が思っているほど冷たくないから、
懺悔したらみんな優しくて「うんうんわかるよー」みたいな
反応が返って来るとは思うのね。
でもそれって俺が懺悔している対象には
何の関係も(許可を得て?)無いわけで。
まぁ、何と言うか本人不在のところで何と言ってもしょうがないよなぁ、と言う
陰口が嫌いな自分としては、陰口を叩いてるような気がしてしょうがない、
とそういう話なのです。むむむ。

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