今の自分に出来ること

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人にはいつでも、その環境において最適な役割と言うものがあって、
それを着実に遂行出来るの人と言うのが
他人から求められ、認められる人なのかなと思う。
そしてその役割と言うのはいつも
「自分にしか出来ないこと」なんだろうなって。
なんか書いたことある話だなって思ったらやっぱり書いてありました。

世の中にはどうしようもない、動かし難い事実がある。
人間には変えることの出来ない事実と言うのがある。
今の人間に出来ることは、なんだろうか。

自分に起こったこと、自分の周りに起こったこと、
自分の周りの周りに起こったこと、地球上に起こったこと、
本質的には違いは無いと思うんだけれど。
全てのことに意味を感じ、自分で意味を付けることで、
全てのことを受け入れられたりするのではないか。
そうやって、生きていけるのではないか。
そうやって、みんなが幸せになるのではないか。

自分にしか出来ないことをするのは難しい。
その要素は2つ。
何が自分にしか出来ないことなのかを理解すること。
理解した上で実行するための障壁が往々にして大きいこと。


その上で、自分にしか出来ない、自分になら出来ることを
最大限成し遂げる姿はあまりにもかっこよかった。
それは本当に見事で、丁寧なものであり過ぎた。
そしてあの人の言うように、ものすごく強かった。

この前、
「あらゆる人間関係において、
特定の2人しか共有していないものやことがあるはずで、
それらに意味を感じることさえ出来れば
その関係は継続し価値のあるものになっていくのだろう」
と言うような話をした。
今まで共有してきたものは何だったのか、
そしてこれから共有して行きたいものは何なのか。
それを理解し実行することこそが、
関係における、自分にしか出来ないことそのものなんだと思う。
この前提としてあるのは、
自分にしか出来ないことをするのは、とてもかっこいいってこと。

24年間生きてきて、ずっと見てきた自分に出来ること。
いや、お互いが出来ること。
それは互いに出来ないことを補完し、知らないことを補完することである。
だから俺は、誰よりも自分がすべきことを知っている。
いま涙が出るけど、これは俺の仕事ではないから。
俺がするのは、ちゃんと涙を流せる環境をつくること。

だからとりあえず、俺の方は今日のうちに泣いておく。

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