罪悪感

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明け方帰って来て昼過ぎまで寝る.
今日は久しぶりにゲーセン行って遊んだわ..
しかし遊んで罪悪感を覚えるのは何とかしたいな.
なんやろ,強迫観念に駆られてると言うか.

今やともっと就活せな!って思うし,
英語とかSPIとかやらな!って思うし,
研究に関してももっとやらな!って思う.
やらなあかんなぁ,と言うことはつまり,やりたいわけやねんけども.

でも遊ぶ時は精一杯遊んで満足感に浸りたいもんやね.
遊んで罪悪感を覚えるとか,不幸せもいいとこやもん.
それやと何のために生きてるのかわからへんわ.

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