大人と子ども

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こないだのライブの帰り,
Nさんとバーで話した時のこと.

実はこのNさんと話すのは,実際3回目か4回目.
でも面白い人で,ああ,多分友達多いやろうな,って感じの人.
やから朝まででもいっぱい話せたと.

やっぱり俺は,
人生を楽しんで生きてる人がほんまに好きやなぁ,って思うんやね.
俺は別に,社会に貢献なんてしなくてもいいと思ってるから.
人に迷惑さえかけなければ,
自分がやりたいことをやりたいようにやってる人,
そういう人ばっかしでいいと思うもん.
社会で誰かがやらなあかんような仕事は,やりたい人がやればいいから.
(その人らにとってはそれが,楽しいことなんやからね)

Nさんは趣味で演劇をやってる人で,
バイトするかたわら練習に励んで公演もこなして,と言う感じ.
ライブのKさんにしても同じやね.
別に給料がいいわけではないし,社会的地位があるわけでもないけど
(2人とも結局フリーターですから)
でも,楽しそう.きっと,ほんとに楽しいはずやわ.

それから大人やなぁ,って思える人が好き.
わかってる人って言ってもいいかも.
大人やのに子どもみたいな人っていっぱいいるもん.
年だけ取って,何もわかってへんやん.みたいな人.(言い過ぎ?)

高専3年の時に1年間,PC教室の先生をしてました.
いっぱい大人の人に触れる機会があったんやけど.
(年間で多分,数百人になるかな)
その時もああ,大人やなぁ,かっこいいなぁ,
って思える人はたまにしかおれへんかった.
そらまぁ,2日間16時間程度じゃ何もわからんかも知れへんのやけどね.

わかってるって,何をわかってれば俺の言う大人なんやろか.
やっぱそれは
どうやったら幸せに生きてけるかを自分でわかってるってことやと思う.
そしてその通りに生きてる人やと思うわ.
自分は何のために生きてるか,自分でわかる人.
それがわからへんうちは,多分まだ子どもやねん.

と言うわけで,
今日は素敵な大人の人に会って楽しかったです.まる.


8年間付き合ってる彼女の話.
「男として,逃げられる?」
ドラマ.そう,これもきっと演劇みたいなもんなんやわ.
全てを受け入れて,そこから一番いい未来を見出していくねん.

俺もそう,なれるやろか.

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