過去ログ

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1999年時点からの日記の過去ログを見てるのですけど,
やっぱり恥ずかしいですね.てれっ.
今の考えと比較できそうなものを順次ブログに転記していこうかと.

昔の日記は妙にテンションが高くて,
☆とか♪とか!とかばっかしで気持ち悪いくらい.
おいおいなんでそこを強調するんだっていうのもいっぱい.
明らかに人目を意識した書き方です.
今は全くそうではないのかと言えばそうでもないのですが(どっちやねん)
自分自身のため(だけ)に書くのであれば
書くモチベーションも維持できると思うんですね.
ただそれは面白いと思って言ったことがウケなかった時の
言い訳にも似ている気はします.

話を少し戻して.
そういうのも含めて
その書いた時点での記憶がよみがえるのなら
書いておくことも,またそれを見る事も意味があるなと.

昔の自分を理解して,今の自分と比較する事で,
自分自身は成長している事を実感するのだと思います.
いまこうやって書いている文章も
何年後かはきっと恥ずかしい文章になるわけだけれど
それでも,
昔の自分を理解するための材料を消してしまうようなことは
したくない.
そう思いました.

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