人の前に立って話すことが，今はとても好きです．
でも昔は，小学校くらいの時はそういうの嫌で嫌でしょうがなかったんです．
先生に当てられても下を向いて黙ってるような子でしたから．これでも．
中学校１年の時に仲の良かったなんちゃん（今は同じ大学の医学部にいます）
がクラス委員に立候補して，それに対抗して俺も出て，
確か「まじめそうだから」と言う理由で票を集めて俺が選ばれたんです．
ほら，当時はまじめそうって人に言われてたんですから．これでも．
それで会議みたいなの（生徒会の会議なんて，今考えればおままごと的ですが）
に出席するたび，毎回１つずつ「生徒会のここがダメ」とか言ったりして．
人前で話したくて仕方なかったんですよね．
挙手するたびに「うわ，またあの人なんか言いたそう」的な
空気になるのが楽しくて仕方なかったんですよね．
単に人目を引きたかったのかも知れない．
だから中学2年の時にクラスのうるさいやつに投票で負けた時は，
ものすごく悔しかった．
高専に入ってもまた「委員長」をやらせてもらいました．
高専の時は割とその名で呼ばれてて，何人かは今でもそう呼んでくれたりします．
中学校の時までは割と「前で話をしたい」だけだったんですが，
高専では「自分の考えを聞いて欲しい」と思うようになってました．
そういう機会がとにかく得たくて，
部長とか会長とか，何でもいいからやりたかったんです．
「人前で話す」と言う機会がとにかく欲しかったんです．
おかげで機会にも多く恵まれて，
「人前で話すことが好き」と自分で思えるようになりました．
それで，
今の自分にとって人前で話すと言う事はどういう意味を持ってるのかなぁ，
と言うことを考えてたんですけれど，
やっぱりそれは「自己表現」なんだと思います．
人と話して意見を交換したり考えを共有したりするのが好きな自分ですから，
それを一度に多くの人に対して行えると言う，
人前に立つと言う事の持つ意味は大きいです．
一対一で話すのはもちろん好きですが，
一度話すだけで色んな人にいっぺんに聞いてもらえる機会なんてそうは無いですから．
だからその機会を有効に使うために，
人前に立つ機会に際しては準備もいっぱいするし，
いざその時になればいかにうまく伝えられるかと言うことをよく考えます．
回を重ねるたびに，
多くのことをより上手に伝えられるようになったらとても素敵だなぁ，
と思います．
blogなんかに文章を書く，と言う事は
そういう意味で「全世界の人の前に立つ」と言うことなのかも．
そう考えたら文章の表現も考えるし，
いかに伝えたいことが伝わっているかって言うのも気になりますね．
多くの人と色んなものを共有，交換していくために
そういう場はこれからも多く経験したいし，楽しんでいきたいと思います．
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